Life at 21

well I had this habit of bloggin n also deletin them though im not sure wat makes me delete them...well now wat of now....y am i resumin dis...da reason is obvious ...ive been thru a blog today...n so i thot dat it'd be better if i had one...n i think dat im not so bad at writin n thinkin....so wat else do i hav to wait for.....dis has been goin in my life so far...the change of opinions...jus now saw someone sayin dat ar rehman is god.....thot to myself..is really rehman god of music...damn dat..i really started believin dat rehman is god....coz ive already filled my fav music column in orkut wid da phrase REHMAN IS GOD......

n der is more.....some say dat they njoy company of their frns...i hear to them..n start towards my frns in da
anticipation of njoyment but cant find it.....n then some others say dat life is so gr8 thru a window.....so i start towards my window......n fuck myself over there for hours.....but cant get the so called enjoyment......dis is wat happens to me for most of the time....i get carried away by thoughts of others .....so terribly ....even i started dis bloggin for dat matter....is it so gud a feelin wen someone praises ur blog....or someone criticises it....so i thot to hav dat feel.....coz i was neva lucky in dis regard coz im a guy.....n who da hell cares to leave a comment in a guy's godddamned blog....they hav betta thins to attend.....but im an optimist in dis issue mind u only in dis particular thing.....so i started it all over again....now im determined to get a comment or two 4 each n every post ...no matter the amnt of advertising skills it requires...

i donno if it is positive thinking or negative thinking.....n giv a break guys....i dont think there is sumthing lik + thinkin or _ thinkin......there are no sides to life..neither the positive nor the negative.....there is just life....n u gotta take it as it comes...dont bother abt da side of it.....well so much of this idealistic preachin stuff.....

well so gettin to da pt now...life at 21...my life at 21 neva really rocked or sucked.....it went on and on and on.....n it neva is steady....lot of things happened....in this particular year....i cried,enjoyed,moaned,loathed,n wat not ive done
evrything this year....da most happenin yr of my lifetime....n yet da most boring one....daily routine is da same from jan 1st to dec 31st barrin some moments in hyd in summer n a tour of delhi agra n jaipur......gettin up at say 10 or 11 on avge....sumtimes it went beyond 12 noon.....not havin anythin till lunch...or further till dinner....fud neva was my
priority....n then my college really sucks....god knows wat prompted me into this fuckin PG....but then did i hav a
choice....no immediate job after my tech....how am i supposed to be witt frns or other family mems widout any valid thing to do...i just cant face them doin nuttin...whole world expects u to do sumthin or other even if dat isnt their business...they tend to make it theirs....so u gotta do sumthin or other...if u ought to satisfy them if not urself....so got into dis mess...called da post graduate studies...n im nowhere close to bein gud at dat.....my studies n CGPA were not so bad.....but i know da real stuff within me....i donot deserve all these things...but they kept cumin to me...as is da case wid them always....n dis tym i got lucky wid da job as well....for dat matter im a post graduate man...common....i deserve a job n i think so....dont ya think so...neva mind....i dont really care abt ur thinkin anymore....ive come outta all those thins now.....n my diary read da same old shit every day......which is not da case wid it for any of my previous years.....i got fed up writin my diary which doesnot happen to many...i skipped sumtyms...not jus bcoz of da laziness....but also due to da fact dat nuttin really happened in my life dat deserved a mention in my diary......

n towards da end of the yr...ORKUTTING(or as my anonymous frnd said SPYING)...became my alltime fav timepass....days n weeks passed by....wid dat..n i didnt hav da remotest idea of wat is goin on in this world.....i lost in da world of scraps,testimonials,crushes,smileys,n a whole lot of shit......even if i started to take a break it neva really left me....all my frns are into it ....ya dey r really into it...everyone is busy wid yahoo messenger,googletalk,or sumother shit......airtel hutch reliance....n god i cant go into all those...so once again i thought to find solace in them....coz they seem to rule......n i hav nuttin more interestin thin to pursue.....n my thesis work neva really interested me...coz im not passionate abt dat....n then came my birthday......my life as a 21 yr old guy ended....im into 22...but nuthin happened once again.....days r leavin me but their impressions....where r da impressions of da past days.....phew...i cant find them.....well lets c wat dis yr has in store 4 me.....

sada kush raho...:)